I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
