Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize