My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
