dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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