Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He did a backflip because drugs
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