physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize