hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
