Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
