bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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