yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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