I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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