I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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