i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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