hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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