You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need water and some morals
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