Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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