did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
