all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
