To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
