used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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