sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
