maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have post one night stand depression
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