Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
