I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
