Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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