Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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