First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my sisters under your porch take her home
my being single is dangerous.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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