I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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