i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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