She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
