He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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