Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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