Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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