just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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