She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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