Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
