I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
