i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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