The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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