i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
