you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
