i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
