are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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