Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
