her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Never joke about your clitoris.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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