Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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