those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
