He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
