Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
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Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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