Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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