im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
