Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
