i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
