fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's shark week go big or go home
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
