Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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